Tips for Watching Porn With Your Partner

Couple on sofa

Lets first address the stigma that pornography is a bad thing. Pornography is one of the most commonly searched words on the Internet, roughly 25% of all internet searches is porn, that’s 68 million searches per day. Unfortunately, porn gets a lot of bad press. People who have our best interests: friends, counselors, and sometimes therapists can steer us away from video stimulation in the bedroom, however watching porn as a couple can bring some incredible benefits.

Before you get started make sure you and your partner talk about it. If you’re both into it then here are some cool tips I think can make things a little easier in the beginning.

COMMUNICATE
Communicate, again make sure you both understand what you’re planning to do. Don’t try to surprise your partner with porn. Some people will totally be cool with that surprise but, others could “take offense or feel uncomfortable”

The End Goal Here is to Enhance Your Intimacy Not Replace It!

Remember, You’re a couple, make it about both of you. Even though it’s just a video; insecurity is a real thing and some porn can be intimidating. The end goal here is to enhance your intimacy not replace it!

Pick something you both like. Porn is everywhere on the Internet…I’m not kidding; it’s everywhere! But finding the good stuff can take some digging. Its important that your partners preferences don’t dictate yours, sex with your partner is 2 sided.

KISS.jpg

K.I.S.S.
Keep It Simple & Sexy, if you’re new to this try watching things you would actually try and keep the kinky stuff for another time (maybe time for the Black Box).

INTERACT 
Keeping along with the theme that this is adding to the bedroom, don’t get caught up watching. Make sure you’re still looking at and touching your partner, say things like, “you’d look so hot doing that!”

BE HONEST
You both have an opinion and that’s amazing! Don’t be afraid to talk to your partner and say I like and/or dislike that. Sex is always better if you’re comfortable, so it’s important to validate and not pressure your partner into something that don’t enjoy.

BE REALISTIC
if you’ve ever seen some of the stuff that happens in porn it can be exciting or even scary to some. Pornography is not a Sex Ed class, it’s supposed to inspire you, make you feel like maybe trying some new things. Just don’t hurt yourself in the process.

Kevin Juarez
Guest Blogger

5 Ways to Liven Up Your Dead Bedroom

Couple laying on the beach bed and kissing

Whether you’re married or dating, young or old, any couple can experience a period of sexual stagnation. It can be depressing and bruising to the ego, and you may think that your only options are to see a counselor or give up completely. But before you throw in the towel or your checkbook, consider these suggestions that could naturally bring the spark back between you and your partner.

Break the Rules
Without realizing it, sometimes couples set up unnecessary boundaries for themselves, creating mental blocks that don’t need to be there. Break these useless things down. Some boundaries have to exist (no sex on the breakfast table right before the kids eat on it), but some rules have to be broken.

Just because it’s after 10 o’clock on a weeknight doesn’t mean you can’t get weird under the sheets. Haven’t showered yet? Perfect opportunity to soap each other up and get down. The kids are home, sure, but they’re asleep and your bedroom door has a lock for a reason.

Continually making excuses about not having sex can condition your mind and body to forget how to appreciate spontaneity. Try not to rely solely on scheduled sessions because that can get dull fast, no matter how much you care about your partner. Go ahead and have sex on Tuesdays, but throw a little Saturday and Thursday in there every now and then.

Communicate
The most obvious solution to any problem in a relationship is to talk about it, even if the subject is as delicate as sex. Your lack of intimacy is an elephant in the room, so there’s almost no chance your significant other hasn’t noticed too. Putting it on the table will at least give the two of you an opportunity to pinpoint the reason (or reasons) for the decline in activity, and then you can begin to work on it.

Maybe her new job isn’t what she thought it would be and it’s stressing her out too much to even think about sex. Maybe he’s put on a few pounds and it makes him feel less sexy. It’s even possible that, after realizing your sex life isn’t what it used to be, the pressure of getting back into the swing of things is causing your libido to plummet.

Don’t feel ashamed to lay it all out there. Wanting a healthy sex life isn’t an outrageous demand, but be ready for the possibility of discovering that your sex drive is different from your significant other’s. And that’s okay! Communicating your needs and hearing theirs will help you find a solution that works for both of you.

Make Out
Remember when you were in high school and the pinnacle of your existence was sloppily making out in the back of a car for hours? Your body buzzed, your head was cloudy, and it felt amazing. You can still have that! Only this time around, you’re a responsible adult who can round home base without worrying about your parents finding out.

Kissing releases all sorts of yummy chemicals into your system, like oxytocin and dopamine, that make you feel fantastic. Let yourselves get carried away in that. Get frustrated and sweaty until you can’t stand it anymore. Just because you’re no longer a horny adolescent doesn’t mean you’re only allowed to kiss like a nun right before bed or when leaving for work. ?

Flirt
A huge chunk of sexual attraction is attributed to the brain. Erotic stimulation doesn’t have to be based entirely on what happens in the moments right before sex. Arousal can start long before then and build up over time. Flirting with your partner is an excellent way to tease each other and boost your egos along the way.

A huge chunk of sexual attraction is attributed to the brain. Erotic stimulation doesn’t have to be based entirely on what happens in the moments right before sex.

Even if you’ve been together for a decade, nothing is stopping you from subtly letting your partner know how much they turn you on. Sexting isn’t just for teenagers anymore. Send a sexy, flirty message while you’re at work and let the anticipation build. Be as graphic or veiled as you see fit, but be clear about your intentions. Remember how hard you worked to earn your partner’s affections in the beginning and match that tenfold.

Have Sex!
No, really! Just have sex. Sometimes all we need is a little push in the right direction, a taste of what we’ve been missing, to get back on track. Don’t force the matter. Sex is natural, and it should feel that way, but even nature needs help sometimes.

If you don’t put yourself in a situation to have sex, it probably won’t happen. A lot of people operate under the misapprehension that desire’s job is to pop up on its own on a regular basis so we can fulfill a need. The reality is that, like everything else in a relationship, intimacy needs work. It has to be nurtured to thrive.

Start slow, taking the time to let affection grow into passion. Introduce new things into your bedroom. If you’re not comfortable with that, just talk about your fantasies. The intimacy of sharing such private activities and thoughts will bring you closer together, rekindling your spark and giving you the chance to start fresh.

Japanese Drip Candles

Japanese drip candles can be a great way to introduce kinky, light bondage, play to your bedroom. Drip candles burn at a low temperature but the wax is still going to get hot so you don’t want to jump headfirst and burn your partner. That would send the direction of the evening in a different direction. Light other candles in the room and ask your partner to lie down for an intimate massage. Start with some lotion and playful touching.

You know, all the stuff you normally skip when you get comfortable in long-term relationships.  

Nibble on his/her ear and let them know when you are lighting the candle. Continue the touching with your free hand and simply tilt the candle to allow the wax to drip on parts of your partners back. Don’t get carried away unless they want you too. After a few minutes of fun swap positions and now it’s your turn.

Can Food Start The Mood?

The link between food and sex is due in large part to our primal nature as human beings. There are hormonal responses and things firing in the brain, but the bottom line is we are biologically programmed to satisfy the urge to eat it or have sex with it.

1pie
American Pie (1999)

With Valentine’s Day around the corner I turned to the internet and went on a hunt to find some Valentine’s Day aphrodisiac foods. I was overwhelmingly disappointed with what I found. Oysters, eggs, celery….really. Celery? I can say with certainty that I have eaten all of the these foods and not once do I remember feeling that special urge. I kept digging. Pumpkin seeds, avocados, and asparagus. Have you ever smelled your pee after eating asparagus? While I’m sure there is a market for that I am still not feeling the urge.

I have come to the conclusion that while there is science backing up the claims of the eggs and celery; most people are not going to feel the effects of such foods in one meal. If you do it is likely a placebo effect. If you don’t feel relaxed and sexy no amount of celery or eggs is going to get you there.

If you want to have fun cooking a great meal for your partner then by all means do so but don’t forget to add some self care while you are at it. Take a bath, light candles, and have a glass of wine or whatever it takes to get you feeling relaxed. Have a candlelight dinner on the floor and feed each other strawberries and cake. Laugh, talk, and remember what made you fall in love.

 

The best way to get yourself and your partner in the mood is the overall experience not just the celery.   

HotHouse Intimates Subscription Box

Check out our latest product review!

Reviews Done for the Best Online Companies Out there!

Where: Hothouse Intimates
What: FireBox ($45)
  So 1st off they ship discreetly, and worldwide! Boxes start at just $25 per month. Uniquely picked out per preference – my box was chalked Full !
Please Note these are the Names Im calling them not sure if Exact! And Costs locally or Online (whichever is cheaper)
  The FireBox I got consisted of:
** Lingerie (here for the same product costs a whopping $39- & thats shopping around! )
** A Feather Tickler/Teaser Toy : about $8 (local shop – I hate buying from)
** Vibrating Fun Finger Tickler: $9.99
** Ring : $4 (on sale locally)
** 3 Various / Surprise Condoms : $1 – $2
** Toy Cleaner.. $3
** Mini Massage Lotion: $2
** Japanese Drip Candle ( 3 for $7.21 — I got 1 — so $2.40 ish)
So as you can see — Definately a save…

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Sexy Time With Santa

santa-claus-2899291_1920

There are a lot things we have to accept during the holiday season. Traffic will suck, all the retail stores will be packed, and everyone will forget what manners are and it’s every man for himself. Between fighting for a parking space and hitting each other with grocery carts it is easy to forget about appreciating your partner in an intimate way. So here are some tips to get through this hectic time and also spend some sexy time with Santa.

  1. Sexy stocking stuffers for both you and your partner. There are a lot of places where you can find some quick stocking stuffers. You don’t even have to visit the corner store; chocolate syrup and whip cream are classics. Don’t be afraid to throw in a spatula for a light spanking too!
  2. Make sexy coupons for your partner to redeem. Leave it on his/her pillow.
  3. Relax at the end of the night with a bottle of wine, some candles, and a bubble bath. For most women intimacy is emotional and not just physical so you have to clear your mind, as well as, relaxing your body.
  4. Put the kids to bed a little early. They won’t notice. When I was a kid my entire house shut down at noon every Saturday for “nap time“. I was an adult before I realized why mom was always in such a good mood after nap time.